My last entry was before our trip to Delhi, which was, of course, a long time ago. I know, I know, I suck at keeping y'all updated on my life. My sincerest apologies, but hopefully this will make up for it.
Delhi, Agra, and Jaipur were awesome! The long car rides in between-not so much. The highlight of the trip was by far the Taj Mahal. If you don't know the story, I suggest you read about it because it is quite fascinating, although it is also a bit absurd. There was just something about the Taj that felt so peaceful and serene. Although there were thousands of other people there, it still felt so calm, which is very un-India like. It was a nice trip and it was really neat to see the different sides of India, I still like Chennai more.
When we got home from our trip, I fell ill. I don't remember much of the beginning but I missed a lot of school and felt terrible all the time. I had blood drawn a countless number of times, in two different countries, I saw many, many different doctors, and I even had my first (and hopefully last) hospital stay. Like most people, I do not enjoy being sick, but I absolutely hate needles. So when I had to get my blood drawn over and over and over my bad anxiety kicked in and I would freak out from the moment I found out I needed the new test, until it was over.. Then I'd freak out some more. Drama queen, I know, but needles are NOT my thing. The worst part of being sick was never being diagnosed. No one knew what was wrong with me for weeks. Finally some tests came back positive, borderline positive, but still. I had typhoid (a light case, probably picked up in Delhi), possibly a bit of Malaria, and I was borderline for scrub typhus. NO FUN. Im happy to say that I am now 100% healthy and (sadly) have returned to school.
During the sickness time frame, I would only be sick every few days, the others I would feel fine.. Not good, but good enough, so I followed my normal routine of spending weekends with the Acheson family. One weekend that I was there, Prasansha was sick. She was throwing up and had a fever. I was so stressed out from school and being sick that I didn't sleep much anyways at this time, so I stayed up and took care of her. Do you know how good it feels to have a sick little girl call your name even when others are awake and able to take care of her? SO GOOD. Side note- I haven't talked much about this little girl in many posts because she just was introduced to my life Easter 2013 but I love her with all that I am. I already connect with kids, but this sweet child and I connected on a totally different level. She was a baby sister to me.- So anyways, I was thrown up on a few times that night and I was hung on and I was ordered around by a 4 year old and I loved every second of it. I love being needed and I love being useful. So this was the beginning. It all started here. Now, I spent the night that Friday and Saturday and left Sunday. I went home and got sick-again. Then all of the sudden Thursday rolls around and I'm watching The Notebook (Im sick and a teenage girl, what do you expect?) so suddenly, I get a call, its Sheralyn. I LOVE getting random calls from Sher, they really make me happy, but this call did not make me happy, this was the worst phone call of my life. I still remember it clear as day. Sher: "Hey Sav! Whats up? How are you feeling girl?" Me: "Well, ya know, I feel bleh, I'm watching a movie, just laying in bed." Sher: "Okay well Im gonna need you to get better soon! Okay?" Me: "Im definitely trying, haha, why?" Sher: "Because, you know Prasansha has been sick lately, so we took her to the doctor and they did some scans... And the cancers back... (at this point I was in tears and so was Sher) and its really aggressive.. The doctors have given her a few days... I need you to come and be with us, so you need to get better soon.. Okay Sav?" Me: "Mhmm..." Sher: "Alright, I love you." Me: "Yeah. You too.." At some point of the call my mom had came in my room, Sher called her first, so my mom knew already.. I sobbed for at least 20 minutes. Just straight, laid in bed, sobbing. It was the hardest and the most I think I've ever cried. My world was over, it was crashing down, I was miserable. I pulled myself together, got dressed, walked up to my mom and told her I was going to the hospital that day (It was 5 pm ish when I told her) and she called in to work and took that night off and we went down there.
I spent so many days and nights in that hospital, so many days giving all of the love I had to her. I brought food to the family, I sat on her bed with her, I sang to her, I brought her water, I rubbed her arms, legs, and head as she wanted, I took care of the other Acheson kids from time to time, I hardly slept, ever, I waited and waited, and waited some more, I gave Sher the occasional needed massage, I hugged everyone who needed a hug, I kept myself together in front of most people, I prayed and prayed, and prayed some more, I covered her up and uncovered her, I comforted those who needed it, I kissed her every time I saw her, I did everything I could have possibly done and it will NEVER seem like enough.
I could write about her last days for hours because I remember them so clearly. Not a day goes by that that little princess is on my mind. Lately I feel like my mind has been clouded with her last days and its hard to remember all of the good times I had with her. There's one incident that seemed so small at the time, that can now put me in tears so easily. It was a couple friday nights before she got sick, and I came over to Shawn and Shers like normal. I walked in the door to be greeted by Leroy yelling "DYNAMOOOOOO!!!" then realizing Dynamo wasn't there and walking away slouched over, he didn't even acknowledge me, which made me giggle a little bit. Then as I take another step in Prasansha runs around the corner at full speed yelling "SAVANNAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!" and gave me the BIGGEST hug. That was a moment that I wouldn't trade for the world.
On November 28th at 2 pm, Mom and I were in the car on our way to start our errands of dentist appointment, costa, then Shawn and Shers house to go see the babygirl. We had been in the car for about 15 minutes and I got a text from Sher that said, "The Princess passed away few hours ago. She went very peacefully in my arms." I showed mom, and she started crying. I didn't. It felt surreal, I didn't think it was possible. I was on my way to her house. But it happened. And we went to the dentist then proceeded to Shawn and Shers, where we were greeted by close friends. In India, they have the funerals that day, so we all waited until it was time to go to the cemetery. I helped Sher get clothes for Prasansha to be dressed in and I tried controlling the kids that were there.. We went to the cemetery and I saw her there in the coffin and I lost it. I cried the entire time.. I couldn't take it. I felt like we were there for hours, which we weren't.. They nailed her coffin shut and put her into the ground. We all walked away with heavy hearts.
Since then life has been tough. Some days are harder than others. Being around people doesn't always help. I write about her a lot. And I talk to my closest friends about her. She taught me a lot. I gave that little girl all the love I had. And I don't regret one moment of it. I cannot explain in words how much I miss her. I wouldn't trade moving to India for anything because India is the reason I met her. She played such a major role in my life for 7 short months. I am so thankful for every moment I was with her. She made me smile like no one else could.
I want to especially thank Shawn and Sheralyn for adopting this beautiful little girl, not only was she adopted to them, but also to me. Those two parents endured something that broke me, and I am only a family friend. I love both of them with all of my heart and they are my second family. They also already know this.
I have been blessed by so many wonderful people. Prasansha being at the top of that list.
Jenny put together a beautiful video that gives a glimpse into the everyday life of Princess. https://www.youtube.com/user/MrEbenezersamuel?feature=watch
Thank you guys for helping me out, its been a hard couple of months and so much has changed.
Delhi, Agra, and Jaipur were awesome! The long car rides in between-not so much. The highlight of the trip was by far the Taj Mahal. If you don't know the story, I suggest you read about it because it is quite fascinating, although it is also a bit absurd. There was just something about the Taj that felt so peaceful and serene. Although there were thousands of other people there, it still felt so calm, which is very un-India like. It was a nice trip and it was really neat to see the different sides of India, I still like Chennai more.
When we got home from our trip, I fell ill. I don't remember much of the beginning but I missed a lot of school and felt terrible all the time. I had blood drawn a countless number of times, in two different countries, I saw many, many different doctors, and I even had my first (and hopefully last) hospital stay. Like most people, I do not enjoy being sick, but I absolutely hate needles. So when I had to get my blood drawn over and over and over my bad anxiety kicked in and I would freak out from the moment I found out I needed the new test, until it was over.. Then I'd freak out some more. Drama queen, I know, but needles are NOT my thing. The worst part of being sick was never being diagnosed. No one knew what was wrong with me for weeks. Finally some tests came back positive, borderline positive, but still. I had typhoid (a light case, probably picked up in Delhi), possibly a bit of Malaria, and I was borderline for scrub typhus. NO FUN. Im happy to say that I am now 100% healthy and (sadly) have returned to school.
During the sickness time frame, I would only be sick every few days, the others I would feel fine.. Not good, but good enough, so I followed my normal routine of spending weekends with the Acheson family. One weekend that I was there, Prasansha was sick. She was throwing up and had a fever. I was so stressed out from school and being sick that I didn't sleep much anyways at this time, so I stayed up and took care of her. Do you know how good it feels to have a sick little girl call your name even when others are awake and able to take care of her? SO GOOD. Side note- I haven't talked much about this little girl in many posts because she just was introduced to my life Easter 2013 but I love her with all that I am. I already connect with kids, but this sweet child and I connected on a totally different level. She was a baby sister to me.- So anyways, I was thrown up on a few times that night and I was hung on and I was ordered around by a 4 year old and I loved every second of it. I love being needed and I love being useful. So this was the beginning. It all started here. Now, I spent the night that Friday and Saturday and left Sunday. I went home and got sick-again. Then all of the sudden Thursday rolls around and I'm watching The Notebook (Im sick and a teenage girl, what do you expect?) so suddenly, I get a call, its Sheralyn. I LOVE getting random calls from Sher, they really make me happy, but this call did not make me happy, this was the worst phone call of my life. I still remember it clear as day. Sher: "Hey Sav! Whats up? How are you feeling girl?" Me: "Well, ya know, I feel bleh, I'm watching a movie, just laying in bed." Sher: "Okay well Im gonna need you to get better soon! Okay?" Me: "Im definitely trying, haha, why?" Sher: "Because, you know Prasansha has been sick lately, so we took her to the doctor and they did some scans... And the cancers back... (at this point I was in tears and so was Sher) and its really aggressive.. The doctors have given her a few days... I need you to come and be with us, so you need to get better soon.. Okay Sav?" Me: "Mhmm..." Sher: "Alright, I love you." Me: "Yeah. You too.." At some point of the call my mom had came in my room, Sher called her first, so my mom knew already.. I sobbed for at least 20 minutes. Just straight, laid in bed, sobbing. It was the hardest and the most I think I've ever cried. My world was over, it was crashing down, I was miserable. I pulled myself together, got dressed, walked up to my mom and told her I was going to the hospital that day (It was 5 pm ish when I told her) and she called in to work and took that night off and we went down there.
I spent so many days and nights in that hospital, so many days giving all of the love I had to her. I brought food to the family, I sat on her bed with her, I sang to her, I brought her water, I rubbed her arms, legs, and head as she wanted, I took care of the other Acheson kids from time to time, I hardly slept, ever, I waited and waited, and waited some more, I gave Sher the occasional needed massage, I hugged everyone who needed a hug, I kept myself together in front of most people, I prayed and prayed, and prayed some more, I covered her up and uncovered her, I comforted those who needed it, I kissed her every time I saw her, I did everything I could have possibly done and it will NEVER seem like enough.
I could write about her last days for hours because I remember them so clearly. Not a day goes by that that little princess is on my mind. Lately I feel like my mind has been clouded with her last days and its hard to remember all of the good times I had with her. There's one incident that seemed so small at the time, that can now put me in tears so easily. It was a couple friday nights before she got sick, and I came over to Shawn and Shers like normal. I walked in the door to be greeted by Leroy yelling "DYNAMOOOOOO!!!" then realizing Dynamo wasn't there and walking away slouched over, he didn't even acknowledge me, which made me giggle a little bit. Then as I take another step in Prasansha runs around the corner at full speed yelling "SAVANNAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!" and gave me the BIGGEST hug. That was a moment that I wouldn't trade for the world.
On November 28th at 2 pm, Mom and I were in the car on our way to start our errands of dentist appointment, costa, then Shawn and Shers house to go see the babygirl. We had been in the car for about 15 minutes and I got a text from Sher that said, "The Princess passed away few hours ago. She went very peacefully in my arms." I showed mom, and she started crying. I didn't. It felt surreal, I didn't think it was possible. I was on my way to her house. But it happened. And we went to the dentist then proceeded to Shawn and Shers, where we were greeted by close friends. In India, they have the funerals that day, so we all waited until it was time to go to the cemetery. I helped Sher get clothes for Prasansha to be dressed in and I tried controlling the kids that were there.. We went to the cemetery and I saw her there in the coffin and I lost it. I cried the entire time.. I couldn't take it. I felt like we were there for hours, which we weren't.. They nailed her coffin shut and put her into the ground. We all walked away with heavy hearts.
Since then life has been tough. Some days are harder than others. Being around people doesn't always help. I write about her a lot. And I talk to my closest friends about her. She taught me a lot. I gave that little girl all the love I had. And I don't regret one moment of it. I cannot explain in words how much I miss her. I wouldn't trade moving to India for anything because India is the reason I met her. She played such a major role in my life for 7 short months. I am so thankful for every moment I was with her. She made me smile like no one else could.
I want to especially thank Shawn and Sheralyn for adopting this beautiful little girl, not only was she adopted to them, but also to me. Those two parents endured something that broke me, and I am only a family friend. I love both of them with all of my heart and they are my second family. They also already know this.
I have been blessed by so many wonderful people. Prasansha being at the top of that list.
Jenny put together a beautiful video that gives a glimpse into the everyday life of Princess. https://www.youtube.com/user/MrEbenezersamuel?feature=watch
Thank you guys for helping me out, its been a hard couple of months and so much has changed.
Psalms 84:7 says - They go from strength to strength, till each appears before God in Zion.
ReplyDeleteClaim this verse until the Comforter in Heaven lifts your spirits to soar again. You WILL see her again someday in eternity. Wont it be wonderful to introduce her to your children someday and tell them the story about this princess who taught you what loving a child truly feels like.