Crazy Beautiful Life

So lately life's been kinda crazy.

Sunday we got back from our trip to Thailand. We stayed in Pattaya (beach) for two nights and then in Bangkok (city) for the rest of our trip. Thailand was great. The people are always smiling and are so nice. We explored temples and ate new food and got close and personal with some tigers. We did the "floating market" which was pretty cool but scary since I'm scared of small boats. Haha. On the second night Michael proposed to my mom. I haven't seen her this happy in a while. Most of you know that Michael isn't my favorite person in the world, but I'm trying to be the kind of person I'm expected to be-most of the time. Seeing my grandparents was great. I've missed them so much.

Next weekend I take my SAT. Prayers please. I'm very nervous as this test is required for my graduation.

Speaking of graduation- I cannot believe I'm finishing High School June 30th. Where has time gone? Before I know it I'll be a high school graduate and then I'll be back in America.

We move home July 7th and even though I'm excited to be coming home in EIGHTH SEVEN days, my heart is heavy knowing I'm leaving behind a part of my heart. I would've never said this a year ago, but I now have two homes. One of them in Texas. And one in India. I have been so blessed by the people and my church. Oh gosh, church. Im going to be a blubbering mess saying goodbye to everyone. They've all become family. Saying goodbye to the kids will for sure be the hardest of all. I will miss my responsibilities of planning kids lessons and having meetings and being a part of something extraordinary. Those kids are joy in my life and I am so thankful for every one of them.

I'm still teaching English at the Boys Home of Hope Orphanage on Saturdays and now I've taken Sandra's place of leading TNT. TNT (teens and Tweens) is a group of people from our church & their friends that meet every Saturday in the afternoon at the local ice cream shop. I have been super blessed by the opportunities God has given me and I'm so thankful to be able to lead so many groups. I'm thankful for my mom as she adjusts her schedule so that I can do all of these things. My life is a little crazy but I wouldn't have it any other way.

Things are changing and I'm learning how to be the best person I can be one day at a time. We all have bad days and we all experience hardships in life but I know for sure if I sit and count my blessings, the things I have versus the things I don't is an overwhelming amount.

So I know you're all wondering-- What's next?
Well. Next is, I move home & I get settled back into the western culture. I learn how to drive. I get a job. And I take a class or two at community college. I'll take time to travel this year and next year. I have plans to visit my brother and his family in Spain, to stop in Paris, and to fly up to Canada to see Sandra! I'm sure as time passes my list of places to go will grow, but as we all know, places require time and money. So until then I'll be saving up and planning.

I'm looking into missionary schools internationally as well, not sure where yet but prayers for guidance and Gods will to be done are much appreciated.

Okay. I'll wrap this up now, but I'll write soon.

Xoxo.
Sav.

I cant think of a title for this because I wrote way too much......

I understand that life has its ups and downs. But I don't think I fully understood that until last year. A lot has happened in my life, I have changed tremendously, and I like to think I've matured, as well.
There are a lot of people in this world that prefer to brave life alone and I honestly don't know how they do it, but I give them major props. I am not one of those people. As messed up as it may be, I rely on other people to help keep my happy. The relationships that I have are the most important things in my life.
I have gone through a lot for someone my age, I've dealt with loss, culture shock, rejection, and so much more and I would not be standing here if it wasn't for those people that help guide me through my every day life.
My mom is my hero. As much as we fight and get on each others nerves, she is my role model. She is the kindest person I know (to everyone BUT me) and she sets a great example for those around her. She is genuine, smart, filled with love, Godly, and beautiful. I look up to her in so many ways. I couldn't have been blessed with a better momma!
My second mom is also my hero, Sheralyn. This paragraph might end up being a novel... God knew what he was doing when he moved me to India and introduced me to this amazing woman. I guess because my dad isn't in the picture very much, I was blessed with two moms! (They aren't together though... thats a little weird.) Sher is someone whose opinion means the most to me. I never hesitate to ask for her advice. And I basically live at her house on the weekends, whether she's home or not! Sheralyn is THE perfect example for a mom. She has done an AMAZING job raising her kids, she is a spiritual mother to everyone, and she's helped me grow up a lot too. Sher is someone I could talk to all night about life. We both are obsessed with coffee, which is good for those late night chats that I keep her up all night. We have been through a lot of the same things in our lives and she is just so amazing and wonderful. I can't even describe her. The first day I walked into WOL (word of life(church)) I was greeted by Sher with a big hug. Well, I do not like hugs, but Sher's embrace felt like home. She is a light in this darkness and a light in my life. You can SEE God shine through her when she talks. I could never have asked for a greater second mom.
Sandra. Dang, I don't know where to start. She has only been in my life since October I think, and she has made me SUCH a better person. She is a BLESSING from God and Im so happy I was given the chance to know her! I can talk to her about anything and get an honest opinion and I can be open with her and not be judged. One of the realest, godliest teenagers I know!
Mary Megan is probably one of the first girls (should I say women since she is a married lady now?!) that I got close to. She walked with me hand in hand as I healed from my parents divorce and she is still walking with me from the other side of the world. She is one of the greatest accountability partners ever, she calls me out when I need it, and she cares about me more than I could possibly imagine. I miss her SO much but I am so blessed by her place in my life.
Olivya Madison Weiskopf. Childhood (and may I mention LIFELONG) best friend. I read a post recently ( http://thoughtcatalog.com/brianna-wiest/2013/12/17-things-that-happen-when-youve-been-friends-with-someone-for-literally-ever/#vJcfqGIVjGOgvCPE.01 ) that made me miss her so much. So there's our friendship. Its pretty great. I can't wait to go home and spend all day with her doing nothing or watching marathons on TV. She's my other half. Its hard being that far away from your other half.
Dakota. I haven't been to close with him for long, but he is someone I can truly confide in. It takes a lot for me to open up to people, most of you know that, but some how, I find it easy to talk to him about anything. I lean on him a lot more than he'd like sometimes (oops) but I am so thankful for him. I couldn't have made it through these past couple of months without him. True friends are hard to find, but I have one for sure.

Now, I could list people forever, because there are a TON of you who I love and care about deeply, but honestly, Im thinking I've done enough explaining about people. LOL.
So, now.. The complicated part. School.
I've finally got permission to take my SAT at home with my mother, so graduation is a GO. Praise the Lord. Well, things can't ever be easy, can they? I want to go into detail here, but I probably shouldn't until I'm out of this school. SO, if you'd like more details, email me!
Lets see, what else is going on in my life.... I recently started learning how to play the piano and I have to say, I am super excited about it! I've made a lot of progress so far and I can't wait to see how far I can go!
We also have a trip at the end of March to go to THAILAND and Im so super excited!!!!! More adventure! One of the perks of living on this side of the planet!
So, I am trying to stay positive, even though school sometimes sucks a lot. I often get lectures from mom about how there's only X number of months left and soon Ill be done with high school and on to bigger and better things, so Im being pushed, which is good, considering Im lazy and giving up seems so tempting right now!
Not only will I be finished with high school in a fwew months, but my time in India will soon be coming to an end. The more I think about this, the sadder I get... I love these people SO much and leaving them is going to be so much harder than I could have ever imagined. My heart is now in two places, if only they were a little closer to each other. I am, of course, excited to be going back home to my friends and family, but I know these next couple of months will go quickly and I'll be saying goodbye to everyone here that is dear to me. Is reverse culture shock a thing? Maybe its called Second Home Withdraws. Im not sure about the name, but I know Im going to have it. Leaving India will be so bittersweet, but I am trying to make the most of the time I have left. I know Ill be back here someday. So, it is not goodbye, more like a see you soon.

Change

My last entry was before our trip to Delhi, which was, of course, a long time ago. I know, I know, I suck at keeping y'all updated on my life. My sincerest apologies, but hopefully this will make up for it.

Delhi, Agra, and Jaipur were awesome! The long car rides in between-not so much. The highlight of the trip was by far the Taj Mahal. If you don't know the story, I suggest you read about it because it is quite fascinating, although it is also a bit absurd. There was just something about the Taj that felt so peaceful and serene. Although there were thousands of other people there, it still felt so calm, which is very un-India like. It was a nice trip and it was really neat to see the different sides of India, I still like Chennai more.

When we got home from our trip, I fell ill. I don't remember much of the beginning but I missed a lot of school and felt terrible all the time. I had blood drawn a countless number of times, in two different countries, I saw many, many different doctors, and I even had my first (and hopefully last) hospital stay. Like most people, I do not enjoy being sick, but I absolutely hate needles. So when I had to get my blood drawn over and over and over my bad anxiety kicked in and I would freak out from the moment I found out I needed the new test, until it was over.. Then I'd freak out some more. Drama queen, I know, but needles are NOT my thing. The worst part of being sick was never being diagnosed. No one knew what was wrong with me for weeks. Finally some tests came back positive, borderline positive, but still. I had typhoid (a light case, probably picked up in Delhi), possibly a bit of Malaria, and I was borderline for scrub typhus. NO FUN. Im happy to say that I am now 100% healthy and (sadly) have returned to school.

During the sickness time frame, I would only be sick every few days, the others I would feel fine.. Not good, but good enough, so I followed my normal routine of spending weekends with the Acheson family. One weekend that I was there, Prasansha was sick. She was throwing up and had a fever. I was so stressed out from school and being sick that I didn't sleep much anyways at this time, so I stayed up and took care of her. Do you know how good it feels to have a sick little girl call your name even when others are awake and able to take care of her? SO GOOD. Side note- I haven't talked much about this little girl in many posts because she just was introduced to my life Easter 2013 but I love her with all that I am. I already connect with kids, but this sweet child and I connected on a totally different level. She was a baby sister to me.- So anyways, I was thrown up on a few times that night and I was hung on and I was ordered around by a 4 year old and I loved every second of it. I love being needed and I love being useful. So this was the beginning. It all started here. Now, I spent the night that Friday and Saturday and left Sunday. I went home and got sick-again. Then all of the sudden Thursday rolls around and I'm watching The Notebook (Im sick and a teenage girl, what do you expect?) so suddenly, I get a call, its Sheralyn. I LOVE getting random calls from Sher, they really make me happy, but this call did not make me happy, this was the worst phone call of my life. I still remember it clear as day. Sher: "Hey Sav! Whats up? How are you feeling girl?" Me: "Well, ya know, I feel bleh, I'm watching a movie, just laying in bed." Sher: "Okay well Im gonna need you to get better soon! Okay?" Me: "Im definitely trying, haha, why?" Sher: "Because, you know Prasansha has been sick lately, so we took her to the doctor and they did some scans... And the cancers back... (at this point I was in tears and so was Sher) and its really aggressive.. The doctors have given her a few days... I need you to come and be with us, so you need to get better soon.. Okay Sav?" Me: "Mhmm..." Sher: "Alright, I love you." Me: "Yeah. You too.." At some point of the call my mom had came in my room, Sher called her first, so my mom knew already.. I sobbed for at least 20 minutes. Just straight, laid in bed, sobbing. It was the hardest and the most I think I've ever cried. My world was over, it was crashing down, I was miserable. I pulled myself together, got dressed, walked up to my mom and told her I was going to the hospital that day (It was 5 pm ish when I told her) and she called in to work and took that night off and we went down there.

I spent so many days and nights in that hospital, so many days giving all of the love I had to her. I brought food to the family, I sat on her bed with her, I sang to her, I brought her water, I rubbed her arms, legs, and head as she wanted, I took care of the other Acheson kids from time to time, I hardly slept, ever, I waited and waited, and waited some more, I gave Sher the occasional needed massage, I hugged everyone who needed a hug, I kept myself together in front of most people, I prayed and prayed, and prayed some more, I covered her up and uncovered her, I comforted those who needed it, I kissed her every time I saw her, I did everything I could have possibly done and it will NEVER seem like enough.

I could write about her last days for hours because I remember them so clearly. Not a day goes by that that little princess is on my mind. Lately I feel like my mind has been clouded with her last days and its hard to remember all of the good times I had with her. There's one incident that seemed so small at the time, that can now put me in tears so easily. It was a couple friday nights before she got sick, and I came over to Shawn and Shers like normal. I walked in the door to be greeted by Leroy yelling "DYNAMOOOOOO!!!" then realizing Dynamo wasn't there and walking away slouched over, he didn't even acknowledge me, which made me giggle a little bit. Then as I take another step in Prasansha runs around the corner at full speed yelling "SAVANNAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!" and gave me the BIGGEST hug. That was a moment that I wouldn't trade for the world.

On November 28th at 2 pm, Mom and I were in the car on our way to start our errands of dentist appointment, costa, then Shawn and Shers house to go see the babygirl. We had been in the car for about 15 minutes and I got a text from Sher that said, "The Princess passed away few hours ago. She went very peacefully in my arms." I showed mom, and she started crying. I didn't. It felt surreal, I didn't think it was possible. I was on my way to her house. But it happened. And we went to the dentist then proceeded to Shawn and Shers, where we were greeted by close friends. In India, they have the funerals that day, so we all waited until it was time to go to the cemetery. I helped Sher get clothes for Prasansha to be dressed in and I tried controlling the kids that were there.. We went to the cemetery and I saw her there in the coffin and I lost it. I cried the entire time.. I couldn't take it. I felt like we were there for hours, which we weren't.. They nailed her coffin shut and put her into the ground. We all walked away with heavy hearts.

Since then life has been tough. Some days are harder than others. Being around people doesn't always help. I write about her a lot. And I talk to my closest friends about her. She taught me a lot. I gave that little girl all the love I had. And I don't regret one moment of it. I cannot explain in words how much I miss her. I wouldn't trade moving to India for anything because India is the reason I met her. She played such a major role in my life for 7 short months. I am so thankful for every moment I was with her. She made me smile like no one else could.

I want to especially thank Shawn and Sheralyn for adopting this beautiful little girl, not only was she adopted to them, but also to me. Those two parents endured something that broke me, and I am only a family friend. I love both of them with all of my heart and they are my second family. They also already know this.

I have been blessed by so many wonderful people. Prasansha being at the top of that list.
Jenny put together a beautiful video that gives a glimpse into the everyday life of Princess. https://www.youtube.com/user/MrEbenezersamuel?feature=watch
Thank you guys for helping me out, its been a hard couple of months and so much has changed.